So I just got done working out at the gym in my neighborhood. I did arms (of course) and ran through all of my physical therapy exercises. For me this was a great morning - it was my first day back in a gym since surgery, how could I not be happy? I went to the locker room to change out of my shorts and t-shirt and sit in the sauna for a little bit. Roasting in the heat and watching sweat bead up on my skin, I was feeling a sense of normalcy again that I hadn't had for weeks.
It was nice.
Then a man walks in, sits down, and notices the brace sitting to my left. He asks, "what did you do?" I gave him the short version about a stupid mistake and an unlucky scenario that led to me tearing just about everything in my knee. He asks what I do and I mention I play volleyball in college. His response made my blood boil.
He shrugs and laughs, "you played volleyball."
One sentence was enough to make me livid, angry, pissed. I was fuming. I kept asking myself, "who the f#@k would say something like that? Is he stupid or just an asshole? Doesn't he realize how lame that is to say to someone that is clearly going through a lot?" Then it hit me... he doesn't, or else he probably wouldn't have said it. He doesn't know that I have spent my entire childhood dreaming of playing in the Olympics. He doesn't know I was heading into my senior season and hoping to play professionally. He doesn't know I have waited since December 7th, 2019 to play in a game again. (That is 584 days if you were curious.) He doesn't know I was in tears 15 minutes ago trying to get my knee to bend enough just to do a full rotation on a bike. He doesn't know jack about me or my life so why do am I letting his three words sit in my head like an anchor? He lives in there, he moved in, he brought his three words and set up camp in my mind.
"Respect yourself enough to say 'I deserve peace,' and walk away from people or things that prevent you from attaining it." - Jerico Sivlers
I don't know why we allow people to take up so much of our time and energy in our thoughts. My dad always mentions "mojo" when stuff like this pops up - your mojo is what gets you up, what makes you "you", what makes you tick. He always tells me not to let people take my mojo, it's a waste, and 99% of the time they aren't worth it. Does this guy deserve to take any of my mojo by dwelling on a comment that took no more than two seconds to come out of his mouth? The answer is no. But the other side of the coin is that it is normal for me to feel all the emotions that come with someone telling me your dreams are done. Finished. Over.
One of the things that I learned in therapy is how much you can separate your emotions from your actions. His words made me sad, but I don't have to act that way. I don't have to be pissed all day about it. I get to pick and I'm choosing to not let it be such a big part of my mind. I need all the mojo I can get right now and three words out of a stranger's mouth are not going to be the difference between me having a good or bad day.
All of this brings me to say that the power we hold in our heads is so much greater than we realize. I've been practicing being mindful and trying to recognize these situations that could set me off before they take over. I still have so much to learn, but you have to start somewhere. I don't want to go through life hoping someone doesn't say something to me that is "hurtful" or "insensitive." I want to pick which people have an impact on my life and everyone else is simply part of a different story. The day we start walking on eggshells in fear of someone hurting our feelings is immediately the day we forfeit our power to pick how we live.
This is shaping up to be a bigger life thing than I thought at the start of writing this but in general, you CAN NOT control what comes out of other people's mouths, but we DO get to pick our reaction. As athletes people often find it perfectly normal to comment on your life, give you tips and insert themselves into your business. Despite this and the fact that it can be annoying sometimes, I do have to concede and say it is part of the role we chose so how are you going to manage? Are you going to let people build buildings in your mind, storing every shitty thing someone said to or about you? I know it's not as easy as just saying no, but we have to try. If our hopes and dreams are important to us as we say, we cant hand people the tools to steal our mojo.
Everyone is going to have opinions and it's up to each of us to pick who's we are going to let impact our lives. Let your autonomy be your power.