MIA WINANS

This year at the end of February was the day I got the dreaded call from my mom, “You tore your ACL too.” At this point I was already told my MCL was torn, but they couldn’t be sure about my ACL without an MRI. I knew in the back of my mind that my knee was blown, but hearing it confirmed was heart-wrenching.

​

At some point, this is a reality for most competitive women skiers. I say women because of the statistics, it happens to men of course too, but not at the same rate. In the year prior to my injury, my little sister and roommate had both torn their ACLs. This had always been a fear of mine, but watching it happen to the people closest to me grew my fear exponentially. The thought of “It is not if it is when” consumed me, and my enjoyment while skiing was not the same. I grew up in Truckee California skiing at Squaw Valley. I loved skiing because it was thrilling, creative, and a space where you never knew what you were going to get that day. I competed in moguls for years, but I felt as though it was becoming too repetitive, and I was having less fun. This is when I started Freeride skiing. Freeride skiing is about going out and skiing with your friends enjoying the whole mountain. My fear of injury took a lot of the fun out of the sport for me this past year, and then when I got injured the ability to ski was taken away from me. My knee injury changed my perspective in a lot of ways.

​

Skiing was a big part of my college experience, and I met many of my closest friends through it. I competed with our club team but going to the competitions became more about being able to travel to different mountains and ski with my best friends. We were scheduled for our first competition of the year in Crested Butte CO, but it got cancelled due to low snow conditions. Our team went anyway because we love the mountain and had already purchased our Airbnb. I went up a day early to stay with my sister who lived up there, and my first day skiing was pretty mellow. That day I skied over a $20 dollar bill and picked it up thinking, “Wow this is my lucky day!” It was not in fact my lucky day. The next run I hit a little air while tree skiing and lost balance and went tumbling into a tree. I wasn’t able to stop myself, but I turned my body so my quad hit the tree rather than my head or upper body. At first, I was shocked, and it hurt but mainly just where the impact was. After about 15-20 minutes I decided to try and ski a little bit and see how it felt. I was going really slow and it felt fine at first, but then came the buckle. 

I am now about 5 months into the recovery process so I’m going to highlight 5 things that helped me.

​

1. Drop the “what ifs”

At first, I played the scenario over and over in my head thinking of how it could have gone differently. What if I hadn’t stopped to get the $20 dollar bill? I probably would have been in a different place at a different time. What if drove to Crested Butte the same time as everyone else? I wouldn’t even have been skiing that day. How it happened is the one thing you cannot change, and you will drive yourself nuts thinking about it too much. Once I realized I couldn’t change the fact that it happened, I began trying to find the good in the recovery process.

​

2.  Life moves on, even if you can’t move the way you want to.

I had plans of moving to a ski town after college and taking a year or two before I started my professional career to ski and compete. This had been my plan since high school. My surgeon told me I would not be able to ski until February, and I would definitely not be skiing at a competitive level next year. This was incredibly hard to deal with at first, but it forced me to look at other options. Now I have plans to move to Oahu for 6 months before moving to New Zealand for their summer ski season. These are both opportunities I never would have considered if I hadn’t hurt my knee. 

3. Your emotions will be all over the place but taking it out on others will only hurt you and them.

I had some frustrating days where I would get angry or sad and not know how to handle it. It is not your friends' fault they had a great day skiing and came home in a good mood. It is not your roommates’ fault for planning a day to go biking when you wanted to hang out with them. My support system was incredible, and my friends tried really hard to accommodate me and make sure I was having fun, but there were days where I just wasn’t feeling it and that’s ok. Recognize the people around you for trying to be helpful and communicate when you don’t feel like being helped. 

​

4. Listen to your body. Take rest days.

The first month or two of recovery are focused mainly on getting your range of motion back. This is critical, and incredibly boring. The exercises feel pointless and often painful. After that is when you start really working on getting your strength back. This is much more exciting, and you can feel yourself returning to a more normal lifestyle. At first, I pushed myself very hard every day to try and get the strength back as quick as possible. I wasn’t letting my muscles and knee recover like I should have been. There were times I would skip social events because I had to get my knee exercises in. Make sure you do what you need to in order to stay on track with physical therapy but give yourself a break occasionally. Overall, it is important to remember that it is okay to skip a day to let your body recover or to go see a concert.

5. Talk about it!!

I tend to push my emotions under the rug or keep myself too busy to think about how they are affecting me. An injury like this will affect your life in so many ways, and it is essential to process how it is affecting you. Tell the people around you when you are having a bad day and talk through the things you are feeling. If you need help walking down a hill, ask someone. Possibly the most important thing I have learned in the last 5 months is that it is more than okay to ask for help. Usually, the people around you want to help you, but they don’t know what it is you need.

​

Thanks for reading!

My last piece of advice is this:

Don’t take for granted being able to do the things you love, and don’t take for granted the opportunities and growth that will happen when you can’t do something you love.